Before Conceiterama was the mayor of AdoreMe, she was a coffee shop country music singer who struggled to find one fan. She wanted to be adored and worshiped, but she found herself being too angelic for the citizens of AdoreMe.
One day she had enough with coffee shop singing and turned to her inner guide known as Baal Sack. She asked, “Oh great Baal Sack, will you help me become the greatest of the greatest singers in AdoreMe so that I may glorify your excellence?”
Baal Sack answered, “Let’s be honest. You want to glorify yourself.”
Conceiterama wanted to deny the truth, but she was terrified that Baal Sack may banish her to Asmoday, which was the land of confusion. She didn’t like the thought. It terrified her reality. “I guess so.”
“Thank you for your honesty. Do you want to be adored?”
“Yes,” she said.
“Again, thank you for your honesty. If you desire adoration so much, there are two pathways you can take. You can marry Pastor Patriarch who has an enormous following due to his smart investment in disgust. Or, you can befriend Fraulein Feminine who understands compassion, understanding, and creativity. Each will get you the same result, just in a different timeline.”
“I need fame now!”
“Then follow Pastor Patriarch’s methodology, which is to do every opposite of your feelings and peace of mind.”
“So if I want fame, I need to pass around a bucket at a concert, have everyone spit into the bucket, then drink it?”
“You are well trained. I have known thee since thou wast born,” said Baal Sack with a tear of black ink flowing from his one eye.
“Why is disgust so powerful?”
“Because it creates lust, desire, and wanting,” said Baal Sack.
“This sounds fantastic,” said Conceiterama.
“Not as much as you think,” said Baal Sack.
Conceiterama researched Pastor Patriarch and discovered that he had an addiction to pornography, sex dolls, and collectible plates from the Dollar Store. His scandalous story had been published on multiple websites as he was a prominent Christian who had been caught hiring a non-certified technician to repair his malfunctioning sex doll, which caused his followers to reel in disgust. Just as Baal Sack had promised, disgust increased Pastor Patriarch’s followers, devotees, and income.
Conceiterama was powerful. All her powerful followers listened to her country lyrics, crying with zealous conviction that she was the god of country gods. When they gathered at a bar to listen to her music, they country line danced with precision in her honor. When they drank their beer, they made sure to cry back into their beer so as to hydrate themselves while simultaneously dehydrating themselves in her honor. They saluted her choices of decadence as it caused them to feel rich in lust.
Conceiterama entered into a decade of decadence with use of street drugs, opioids, alcohol, marriages, divorces, weight gain, weight loss, plastic surgery in which she gave herself a third breast, forgotten children, four bankruptcies, constipation, and plenty of fear of living.
She had adopted a Puma cat from a foreign country whose name she could not pronounce. Upon claiming this feline, she forgot it was adopted and walked upon the defecation daily without realizing that it stuck to her shoes, feet, and hair. It was only Conceiterama’s lowly paid assistant who found a suitable home for the Puma and cleaned up the fecal matter before Conceiterama ate the poop from habit.
Conceiterama was dropping lower each day. She ate gummy worms for breakfast and dinner. She wasn’t sure what she ate in between meal times, possibly her pet Puma’s fecal matter that had been left in hidden places. She was a conservationist so any type of food or non-food was sufficient as long as it didn’t cause her to choke. GMO was not an acronym in her consciousness.
She loved the sheer bliss of defecation when it happened. Generally speaking, she was constipated since she was born. She didn’t know the difference between pooping and constipation. It was life. It was meant to be. How can I question what God has created as God is a destructive being? He or She is funny in his or her desire to mess with your consciousness even in the most trivial, inconsequential moments of the body. Perhaps I should keep my poop forever, cherish it, hold it like a baby, and find absolution without determination. Perhaps I am ready for the grave. Perhaps I am NOT I AM.
One day husband number five came home from work and said, “I regret ever meeting you. I’m leaving.”
She would have said, “I’m sorry” but she couldn’t remember marrying him. She couldn’t remember his name.
In spite of Conceiterama gaining all the power of attention of the villagers, she hated each and everyone of her followers. She wanted to suffocate the life out of each follower while simultaneously wanting to participate in the archaic thought system known as friendship. Why? She hated her lack of sameness. She was opposite, different, and just plain separated. She wanted to be one of the group but sameness didn’t create exaltation, resurrection, or rank.
Conceiterama decided to run for office of mayor in hopes of creating hope in her future. She was full of sadness so disgust just wasn’t working for her anymore.
Once Conceiterama won the office of mayor of AdoreMe, she required all citizens to bow daily at her feet, morning, noon, and night. If you did not bow, it was understood that you could die. The citizens of AdoreMe were devoted by fear alone while Conceiterama vacillated between aggression towards the citizens or fear of their ability to rise up against her. She was miserable.
One day Lutfia appeared from a far off land known as Nashville singing songs about kindness, joy, and humor. She claimed to understand the frequency of divine love. During required bowing times, Lutfia stood and witnessed. The villagers said, “You shall surely die!”
Lutfia said, “Eventually. But not today.”
Conceiterama felt deeply threatened by Lutfia’s ease with life, so she told the citizens to rise against her, knock her out with a baseball bat, drag her out of the city, and throw her off the cliff side into the ocean.
Since Lutfia had received a vaccination against fear, neediness, and condemnation, she stood her ground. Lutfia had compassion. She told Conceiterama, “You’re constipated because of your diet and your suicidal ideation. Pain turns into comfort and it appears that you are attached to suicide as if its your best friend. It keeps vibrating a fear of life and fear of death. It’s time to tell Baal Sack to pack his saggy bags and hit the road.”
Conceiterama focused on Lutfia’s eyes with intense concentration. “Would you like to try the opposite of fear, Conceiterama? Would you like to try the opposite of constipation? Would you like to feel joy like me?”
Conceiterama quietly nodded her head. She had had enough of pain and suffering. “Yes.”
Lutfia put her hand on Conceiterama’s heart, spoke a few commands, and instantly Conceiterama fell into an ecstatic state. It was an expansion of her heart. It was bliss. It was the greatest delight of her life. She asked Lutfia to do the same for all the citizens of AdoreMe, which Lutfia complied. Once the citizens were activated in divine love, there was no separation, no cruelty, no drugs, no constipation, and no fear as the aggression had been healed.
And divine love reigned supreme while Conceiterama became one of the many, no longer separated.
And this is the story of the Country Star who Activated Divine Love to Heal Her Fear and Constipation.
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