Betrayal-Grief-Regret, Lie-Anxiety-Depression, Story

Man Who Never Brushed His Teeth

Hilarious story of a man who took no responsibility for his life and actions

Achzib was a jealous man who felt worthless. All the people in his village knew how to use grammar properly, how to parallel park, how to attract a wife, how to make a six digit income, but Achzib could not do any of those things. He was embarrassed by his limitations, so he decided to invite an entity into his body.

This entity was an archetype called IdolizeMe who promised Achzib money, women, sex, and adoration. IdolizeMe told Achzib that he could get everything he desired by lying. It sounded like a great plan to Achzib as he only owned a comb, dental floss, and a tooth brush that he never used. IdolizeMe promised Achzib the world, but he didn’t tell Achzib the side effects, which was anxiety, depression, and self destructiveness.

Achzib became a proud, accomplished liar. He had people convinced in his community that he could scale a Mexican Palm tree to shave off dead palms with a chainsaw. He conned an attractive businesswoman to marry him. He convinced his church friends that his wife was the love of his life; he thought so too even though he had regular sex with a lady from church. They would meet at the all-you-can-eat casino buffet and carry on like righteous lovers. It was a convenient place to have sex as he could bring home leftovers to prove his worth to his wife.

Achzib was greedy for many things, most of which was attention. He competed for the attention of his friends and co-workers, which required bigger lies and spending more money to acquire the adoration.

The village needed an airport. The airport governing board attended the same church as Achzib. Since Achzib felt limited by his lack of construction experience, he used his only skill. He lied about the competitors. He claimed one competing company had a lifetime membership to a nudist camp. He claimed the other competing company built and owned the nudist camp.

Achzib won the contract to build the new airport. He would subcontract Cheapo Construction to do the work while he sipped margaritas at the poker table with his mistress.

On the day that the concrete was being poured, Achzib felt doubt. Cheapo Construction knew what they were doing even if he didn’t. He would be fine. That night, Achzib could not sleep. He was awake all night wondering why he was distressed. Was it his teeth? He hadn’t brushed or flossed his teeth in years. Was it the weeds growing in the yard that he promised to pull but never got around to doing? Was it his church lady girlfriend who wanted an allowance? Sex was no longer free.  How unfair, he thought!

He realized that this feeling of dread was anxiety. Anxiety needed to go, so he went to the doctor who prescribed a bunch of pills. Achzib felt better.

Two weeks had passed. He had neglected to check on Cheapo Construction’s work. He decided to pay a visit to the new airport. He stepped onto the new concrete floor and quickly sank deep into the murky, wet concrete. He yelled at the foreman of Cheapo Construction and the foreman yelled at the team, reminding the team that concrete is meant to dry. Achzib felt anxiety, so he increased his dose of pills to cover the pain.

The airport governing board planned a visit to the job site. Achzib attempted every lie possible to keep the board from visiting, boasting that a Clogging group and Existential Dance group were having a dance-off challenge on the new airport floor, so there would be no space for visitors. But all lies failed. The murky, wet concrete had finally dried to a clay-like substance. When the governing board members stepped onto the clay-like floor, one of the board members leaned against a steel beam that fell over onto another steel beam, causing all the beams to fall like layered sticks one on top of each other. The board members ran the opposite direction without harm. It was a regretful rebar pile of epic proportions. The airport governing board fired Achzib and punished him by announcing his degrading construction work to all the villagers, ensuring he would never get work in this town again.

Achzib now felt depression, anxiety, and humiliation. He isolated himself away from everyone, including his mistress and wife. IdolizeMe reminded Achzib of the side effects of deception, and Achzib cried. It was time to transmute the entity that possessed his mind. It was time to transmute the energy of lies, manipulation, and limitation that possessed his mind. It was time to restore his DNA template to full integrity, impeccability, and personal power.

Achzib retreated into the desert with a supply of food, water, his comb, toothbrush, floss, a handful of foreign language books, and a book of release commands. He had discovered a love for words and how those words affected his thoughts and mindsets. Deep in the desert, he entered a cave, opened the book of release commands, and read them aloud.

Achzib repeated the commands on a daily basis. His love for words increased as he read his foreign language books, learning German, Spanish, and finally French. As he spoke the languages out loud, he realized his breathe smelled foul like a gutter. Since he was replacing deceptive words with powerful words, he chose to clean his mouth by using the toothbrush that had sat dormant for years. He brushed his teeth, combed his hair, flossed his teeth, and trimmed his nose hairs, toenails, and fingernails.

His supply of anxiety pills had long run out, but he didn’t need them anymore as the anxiety had released. He noticed that he wasn’t depressed either. His supply of food had run out, so he ended his self imposed exile and returned to the village.

The airport had become busy with tourism. Many foreigners arrived but no one understood the foreigners because the villagers had never learned German, Spanish, or French. Some of the foreigners were very angry because of the lack of help, often screaming at locals before boarding the next flight home.

Achzib knew he could help. He asked one foreigner what he wanted. The foreigner replied that he wanted a meal of chicken and dumplings, a good night’s sleep at a hotel with fluffy pillows, and chocolate truffles. Achzib knew where to take the foreigner, so he escorted him to the best destination. The foreigner was so grateful that he gave Achzib a nice tip.

Achzib returned to the airport each day to find a new tourist who needed help finding things in the language they preferred. Achzib became known as a translator and linguist, causing the villagers to marvel that he had transformed himself.

Achzib visited his wife to clear up the past. He admitted his long term affair and asked for her forgiveness. She thanked him for his honesty and explained that she had always known the truth. She too was hiding from her own truth. Although she liked Achzib, she was in love with her best friend Greta and she wanted a divorce. They both forgave each other and followed through on a peaceful, low cost divorce.

Achzib knew that his mistress was not his love, so he didn’t bother visiting her. Instead, he chose to be the man he always wanted to be in order to attract a woman who loved him as much as he loved her. He would be a man of character, kindness, love, emotional intelligence, and impeccability.

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